Hi I’m Rhiannon. I own a sex toy consultancy business called That’s The Spot. I am an epic sex toy geek, but more importantly, I am a sex educator. I shall be publishing a series of posts over the next few months to help each and every one of you get more pleasure and confidence from sex. I will start by helping you explore masturbation (solo sex) and then sex with other women (duo sex!) From then, based upon feedback and requests from you, I will address other issues and curiosities related to sex and sexual health.
As a person who writes and talks about sex every day, I need to remind myself, constantly, that not everybody can talk about it as freely as I can.
For those who still feel shame when they hear the words sex, masturbate and/or vagina, it could be because you were raised by parents who taught you that it wasn’t good to discuss or do these things. There must be at least 4 different generations of women that are members of the various Planet websites and if we are to generalise, the younger members are probably more comfortable discussing vagina stuff. The older part may have been raised by parents who were religious and were a product of their time. Some of you have already worked hard on getting more ‘ok’ about all things sex-related. You could also be shy to discuss it for the opposite reasons – some of my customers parents used to talk too much about it! There are a lot of reasons we don’t feel comfortable around this subject matter and from what I’ve seen so far in my career – all we need to do is take a deep breath and talk about it in a safe space, then it changes us forever!
LBQ women are generally better at discussing ‘vagina stuff’ because the simple act of coming out forces a confidence upon us that those who don’t have to come out don’t have. This is also why I believe that LGBTQ people are more likely to dress how they want and to express themselves more colourfully – that confidence they had to gain from coming out then gives them to confidence to talk more honestly and present themselves more expressively!
With the work I do, I have met many LBQ women who are nervous about speaking about sexual pleasure and vaginas so I know that a sweeping generalisation is exactly that-sweeping and general! That is why this post is for women who can’t even think about the word vagina without blushing! If you consider yourself quite open minded and are comfortable in your genital-confidence, have a read of this too – you might learn something new or it might serve you more than you’d think. Consider the next 2 or 3 posts as back to basics reading and for those that are already blushing reading this, STICK WITH IT and I guarantee, if you follow what I say, you will have a very happy future with your vagina!
I would like to note, here, that I am aware that non-binary identifying people, trans people and all people under the umbrella term ‘queer’ read these articles. A lot of what I am writing will be about vaginas and woman on woman sex. I do not mean to exclude anybody who isn’t cis female but I will admit that as this is where my expertise lies, this will be the main focus. I would love to write more about non-binary sexuality and if you would like to help me write some articles, please do get in touch. For clarity, I will be using words associated to female genitals and to being a woman.
I have now introduced myself and my agenda and you know what you have to look forward to!
Pop back every other Sunday to read the next instalment and learn more than you could ever learn about vaginas!
Rhiannon Kemp-Davies runs That's the Spot. Although based in Cardiff, Rhiannon frequently visits London and is also able to travel within the UK.
MAINTAINING A SAFE SPACE
These are articles may not be for everyone. There are many women out there who are confident about their body and sex. We salute you! We ask that you please not forget that not all women are as lucky as you are. Please allow this to remain a safe space and for women to feel able to click on the link and learn; to ask questions and to interact.
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Ready to buy a toy from Rhiannon? Head to shop.thatsthespot.co.uk, pick your toy and enter code PLANETMASTURBATION at the checkout to get 10% off any purchase.
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